I started this page nearly two years ago. Sadly, I have not kept up with writing like I always want to. But I’m here tonight and that is what matters! Thank you for stopping by to catch up on my ramblings.
Rereading my previous post made me think – yeah…this year has been quite different. There was a quote that I had shared that said “This year is known as the fire horse because it coincides with the fire element, which is expected to bring “a cycle of heightened passion, boldness, energy, and courage.” And that it has. Especially the courage part of it.
I got the courage to bring up my mental health struggles with my doctor. Do I feel better now that I’m dealing with it properly? Hell yes! Shoulda done that 20 years ago. Courage continues to grow deep within myself. I signed up for a couple of “new broom” style classes and really enjoyed, and am enjoying, them. I have posted videos on freakin’ TikTok and even did a live stream and read oracle cards for a few people. How crazy is that? It was different with the radio station because nobody saw me or was watching me in real time. It was still scary doing that for the first time, but it gets easier and I will continue to post them.
Having watched dozens of different practitioners over the past many months has had me kind of all over the place. Thankfully I have found a few who really emphasize a sort of “personalization” of the practice. Not everyone is going to do things the same way. A ton of candles, cards, crystals, or other tools does not necessarily make your practice better. Those things are great, but even simple and “mundane” activities can become magical.
Did I go overboard with spending money on those extras? Yes I did. I love all of the oracle and tarot decks, the beautiful crystals and stones, and the ability to choose candles with corresponding colors, but I had to kind of stop and remind myself of those things I have come to learn – Just sitting with a cup of coffee and a single white tealight candle, whispering intentions to the universe is a magical practice. Going outside and thanking the Universe for a peaceful day with your family is magical. Simple things can be amazingly magical.
Another big thing that I have learned is that I am not a typical witch. I do not fit the stereotypical witch aesthetic. I don’t, and will never, dress like Stevie Nicks. Nor will I ever have a witch hat. I don’t like things on my head. I don’t want to do any type of baneful magic – at least not at the moment. Give me a reason and well… LOL I don’t hear my ancestors speaking to me. I’m not psychic, or a medium. I just don’t fit into that group.
What I feel that I am is a “hearth witch,” or a “white witch,” you know – the love and light type. My sister in faith even told me I am much more of a Glenda. LOL My heart has always been drawn to helping people. I feel like I can help others who have gone through things like I have. And I am blessed with even a little extra spirituality and the ability to interpret oracle or tarot cards for them, that makes me very happy. Aaaaannnddd….I’m a kitchen witch. All of the labels feel silly. The best description is “Eclectic Witch” because I, or anyone, can choose things that feel right to us individually. There is no rule book. Explore spirituality your own way!
Feeling more myself on this journey of remembering just who I am has made me feel more empowered. More confident in enjoying things that I like and not making myself small for others. Then this song enters my life. Not sure where I heard it first. Probably Tik Tok if I’m being honest. LOL And dang! Yes!
With the silver in my hair and the iron in my soul
I’m finally the person that the world couldn’t control
I can heal your heavy heart or I can break your pride
There’s a thousand years of thunder living deep inside
…
I am sitting in the sunlight that I used to be afraid
To even step into, for fear that I might burn
But I’ve paid every lesson for the wisdom that I earn
…
I’m feeling more alive than I ever did when young
…
I love those lyrics.
Do I feel like that every moment of every day? No. I am still human. But fuck. What I difference I feel now. I am so grateful for my sister in faith, those I have learned from online that I don’t even know, and especially the ones that I have had the privilege to actually see, share class time with and chat online with. When I stop to think about it, maybe it is my ancestors and/or spirit guides leading me in the direction I’m headed today. I may not be able to hear them audibly, but I thank them for being beside me as I enter my Crone era.
k
